i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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