I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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