She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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