Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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