the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
