i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
