We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
