Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize