Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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