Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
