yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
