Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
