A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
