census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
