You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
