My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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