Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
