I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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