would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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