It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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