wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
