They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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