She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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