tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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