none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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