My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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