i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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