please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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