I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
