Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
