To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
