remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
