i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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