from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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