My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
