I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize