I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
