Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
