I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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