I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
