Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
