Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
