found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
