I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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