You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
