He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
