Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
