she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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