i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
