So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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