i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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