i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I licked your asshole in confidence.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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