Ambien. No doubt about it.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
