You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
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Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
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I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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