Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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