you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize