My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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