you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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