its not stalking. its research.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
